Making Waves

update

2011-12-18T23:38:00.004-08:00

this blog has been put on hiatus due to serious life changes. if you'd like to continue to share my journey elsewhere, please email me at sunnywave at gee mail (the google owned webmail system) dot com. otherwise, thank you so much for reading and hopefully I'll be back online here someday in the future.

ladybug and cinderella

2011-11-02T06:30:00.001-07:00

ladybug was a perfect ladybug, and squirrel was delighted to be cinderella...we have often laughed about trying to shield the "princess consciousness" from squirrel--but no matter what you do, how 'feminist' you may lean, the princess stuff infiltrates your home! she was in heaven, in her cinderella dress, though, and they had an awesome time, trick-or-treating, but i think squirrel had more fun passing out the candy. we ran out of candy by 7:15!

do re mi

2011-10-26T14:56:00.003-07:00

our sweet squirrel sang in a choir concert at her school this past sunday night...K-2 graders sing together and the theme was 'the movies,' so they sang all kinds of songs, like the bear necessities, akuna matata, i don't want to grow up, part of your world, candy man...LOL.

i can't figure out why the video is loading sideways...squirrel is the small blue blob in blue, in the center, second row...i tried to take pictures, but i have a small camera--and the lighting/flash combo made all the children's eyes glow so they looked possessed...thought I better not post that...

so proud of squirrel--such a big girl now. *hug*

sisters

2011-10-07T10:56:00.001-07:00

big sis squirrel is visiting at her old preschool for a couple days this week and next, where baby ladybug now attends. baby is in the young kids group, and squirrel is back with her old teacher, "helping" out. they meet up on the playground, where squirrel's former teacher took this pic. :-) :-) :-)

upward and onward

2011-10-05T11:23:00.002-07:00

just wanted to post a quick note...that i'm feeling happy today. :-)

my life is not perfect, and yes there's a lot of pain and hurt swirling all around me, but somehow...i am grateful.

i am grateful for love and friendship and caring.

i am grateful for my friends near and far who have shown me through the years, that love really does conquer hurt and fear.

i am grateful for the colorful personalities of my family who have shaped me to be who i am.

and i am grateful for my little girls who i adore and who have stretched my heart to the edge of the universe and back.

and there are many, many more things for which i am grateful...a pause to fill my heart up and let it overflow.

:-)

love,
sunnywave

challenges

2011-10-01T00:01:00.004-07:00

the blog has been quiet lately, reflective of the very personal struggles i'm dealing with right now. i can't tell if this is the hardest thing i've ever done, considering all the deaths of loved ones that i've lived through, as well as major life changes and heartbreaks through which i've also survived, with the love and support of my friends and family. i feel like crying a lot, and i do. it is a constant struggle, a roller coaster of extreme lows, but also surprising highs. a surprise to see that i still know that i have love inside me to give.

because at the end of the day, i do not want to be bitter and angry, i do not want to deny myself happiness. i realize it's easy to type these words, not so easy to live them. but every day i try.

dear god, please help me remain kind and loving. please, please help me deal with this pain and keep my most loved precious ones safe and protected from heartache and pain, as much as possible. please help us remember to be caring, respectful, and empathetic. and please help us to live our truth...

amen.

um...squirrel can read...

2011-09-17T22:48:00.004-07:00

really! i'm not kidding. i'm totally mommying out on the mommy blog, but i just discovered this piece of information this week. i dug through squirrel's backpack on the way home from school and she said, mommy give me the book. and she started reading it to me from the backseat. all slow like. so i knew she was reading, rather than repeating something from memory. ??!!

sure, it's sentences like: matt has a hat. in the hat is a rabbit.
or

the boy and the girl have wheels.
or

the dolphin is blue. which crayon is blue?

but wow. it happened so fast. i blinked and now, squirrel is reading.

and singing and playing and loving kindergarten. thank goodness...

i <3 you, squirrel.

love, your proud mama.

ballet jump!

2011-08-28T00:29:00.001-07:00

hanging with the girls

2011-08-11T18:59:00.001-07:00

flower girls...

2011-08-05T21:21:00.000-07:00

squirrel's first day

2011-07-31T19:58:00.002-07:00

of kindergarten was actually last week thursday. she loved it! in fact, she woke up bright and early the next day to go back. when i dropped her off, she was bouncing and skipping, and with a 'bye mom!' off she went to eat her breakfast with the kindergarten teacher's aide...i hope and pray that the excitement and happiness continues. she is very excited about learning to read, she tells me... :-D

soon to be flower girls...

2011-07-27T17:34:00.001-07:00

...

2011-07-26T12:05:00.000-07:00

dear god, i'm sorry to come to you like this, but i (we) need your help. we're going through something pretty sad here, and even though my head knows it is the right thing to do, my heart has broken into a million pieces. i think it's been breaking slowly over time, and only recently did i wake up to find all these little shards rattling around inside my chest, shredding myself from the inside out. (i bet you get this a lot, people coming to you when they're maybe desperate for a miracle.) so lately, i've been focusing on getting help, trying to put myself back together, so i can be a better mommy to my sweet ones. and i guess, actually, at this point, i'm not sure what you can do, except help me love myself like you love everyone on earth, so that i can heal and be a better person. and maybe if you could help me not hurt so much, or show me how to do that, i'd really appreciate it.

i love squirrel's preschool...

2011-07-18T09:57:00.004-07:00

i can't tell you how many ways i love squirrel's and soon-to-be-ladybug's preschool. squirrel will be saying goodbye next week since she'll be starting kindergarten (!@$!) but at least we know ladybug will be there soon after. since squirrel is in the big 'four' year old room, known as the lokahi room, they've upped the opportunities to go on field trips. last week, they all trekked down to the Hilton Hawaiian Village, where they got to meet penguins! (Imagine, 24 pre-schoolers on the city bus, then descending on the hotel. poor hotel. ha ha ha.) i just love the teachers here, and the parents who helped organize the different trips. they let the kids drive the curriculum...and seems like birds were the craze over the last week--playing i, spy with birds around the neighborhood, building mini bird-feeders, etc, hence the awesome field trip. :-) they're really good about keeping parents in the loop with pics and letters and just talking story with the teachers...and it's nice to get a little view into squirrel's life during the day. i actually saw kinnematix' sister one day taking a tour when i was picking up squirrel, and i was a little ambassador, ha ha ha! can't say enough great things about this place.

i love you, birthday squirrel

2011-07-02T17:37:00.001-07:00

squirrel was sick all week for her birthday--came down with strep throat, so had to miss her pre-school birthday party. she was comforted with the fact that she got to wear her 'princess' dress to grandma's house instead. :-)

sweet squirrel, how come you're growing up so fast? i know it's your job and all, but...sigh. i'm so lucky to be your mommy. you are turning into such a sweet, smart, and confident little girl, you make me so proud. i love how you take your time to decide what or how you're going to go about something, and how you explain it to me in just your squirrel way. the other day, i woke up to hearing you say: me and [ladybug] like to hug!

no matter what we wanted you to have a great birthday party at the beach. thank goodness your fever went away and you were feeling better. you were so excited when you woke up this morning, when i asked you, do you know what day it is? you nodded with a smile and told me, it's my birthday party day!

so we packed up the car and the truck, and your friends and your family gathered together to have a great day...we are so lucky to be surrounded by so much love, sunshine, and friendship.

playing at the beach is just way too fun for you..and you had fun riding on a stand up paddle-board!

even baby ladybug wanted to get in on the action...

and then it was cupcake time! (think the caption to this picture is: they said it was cupcake time, why aren't we getting in on that action?) we sang happy birthday to you and blocked the wind so you could blow out your candles.

then we all went for a swim and packed up and came home. right now you're sleeping--you fell asleep on the way home and didn't wake up from carseat to bed. can't wait to see you when you wake up and open all of your presents.

ladybug and pooh in a box

2011-06-19T22:42:00.001-07:00

dear ocean

2011-06-17T22:33:00.005-07:00

dear ocean,
i love you. thank you for the surf today. i know i'm lucky to have been able to paddle out in your blue waters and feel the waves surge under my board, with the sun streaming down on my shoulders. that sea turtle swimming by felt like a silent, peaceful blessing from you, and a reminder to take things for what they are, to stay in the moment and be joyous for the simplest of pleasures like floating above the water that reflects the sky. love, sunnywave.

p.s. i need to come clean with some of the deeper sadness that's been flowing lately, but i'll tell you about that later. it's enough to know that you're still there, when i need you the most.

kamemameha day

2011-06-12T16:26:00.000-07:00

June 10th was King Kamehameha Day--government offices were closed and we were off. There was a parade and lots of celebratory events...for more see (here)...

People were on the mend from the plague and still not 100%, but we thought it would be nice to get squirrel out for some fresh air...which she enjoyed, but it's so hard taking a small child to a beach park and not letting them swim! silly mommy...still, she had fun finding coral, think one came home in her pocket, yikes, i hope it's not bouncing around the dryer right now, and digging with sticks.

we live in a beautiful state and it's nice to get out and try and enjoy it. (and even among all the beauty, my heart feels heavy. it's been a rough ride lately, but i remain hopeful and am doing my best to keep my spirits in a good place.) ...

bishop museum

2011-06-11T22:21:00.004-07:00

whoops...didn't realize that we're seriously in the month of june without a post...i'd say life's been hectic, but whose isn't, right? sickness reappeared in our house with its predictable pattern--squirrel with her sniffles, then ladybug with another ear infection, and b.d. with a sinus infection. (mommy still standing, knock on wood). however, pre-sickness, we took the girls to bishop museum to see the dino exhibit--which were spooky! squirrel was not having it at first, but she mellowed out eventually. it had started out as a cloudy, stormy day, which precluded going to the beach...then it turned into just a windy day, which still precluded beach time...and it was our first time to bishop as a family. loved the science museum! need to look into getting a family pass... :-)

beach day

2011-05-29T08:51:00.000-07:00

we celebrated z's 5th birthday on saturday! or rather... b.d. and squirrel did...ladybug woke with a fever and a faucet nose, so we stayed home. luckily, aunty cassie texted me a photo of the kids having a blast. :-)

sigh...love beach days...so wish mommy and ladybug could have been there to help celebrate!

xoxoxo happy birthday z! can't believe it's been five years since we've known you!

8 snow whites and one dwarf...

2011-05-28T11:44:00.000-07:00

little ms squirrel had begged for "ballerina school" since she was two, so we enrolled her last fall to a small, sweet ballet studio. we Love her ballet teacher, so patient and loving to the girls, and squirrel has really thrived there. this past friday, everyone performed at ala moana center stage, including the 3-4 year olds. Their number was the "8 snow whites and one dwarf" (that way, everyone could be snow white). she had a blast!

spring celebration

2011-05-24T10:41:00.003-07:00

squirrel's last spring celebration at her preschool was last week friday. i can't believe how fast time has flown! they danced to calypso jump and sang a goodbye song--saying goodbye to the preschool because they're leaving for kindergarten...all the parents were sniffling (some outwardly, yes, that would be me; most on the inside).

dear squirrel, how did you grow up so fast? she's pictured here with her best pals. the little boy w. she's been pals with since they were two; and the little girl r. was squirrel's first real girlfriend ever (the pre school was overrun with boys for the longest time--which was okay with us--squirrel toughened up a bit, lol) and it was so nice to be hearing about her best girlfriend this past year...

fun in a box

2011-05-23T22:29:00.005-07:00

her latest favorite place to hang out is in a cardboard box near the bookshelf...she looks so cozy!

and...alas our living room is an explosion of baby and little kid stuff. although this past christmas, squirrel helped us de-clutter and choose toys to give away to others who might play with and enjoy them--we were surprised at how easily they were relinquished, especially with certain beloved toys and games and so many that were in great shape (yet somehow, it all adds up again). we are grateful for our bounty, of course! but apologies for the pictures of the...mess! arrgh. :-)

more voices

2011-05-15T00:34:00.003-07:00

is now available at amazon.com. it includes the essay that i posted on the blog a while back. for some strange reason, it doesn't come up if you just search "more voices," but if you search "more voices and cox" (cox is the last name of the editor) it does? here's the link. i just got my copy and am reading it...i feel honored to be part of all these amazing stories.

aunty leah and uncle rich

2011-05-14T16:23:00.004-07:00

and...a picture of a friend who lives across the sea:

it's hard to believe it's been a year since we were at aunty leah's and uncle rich's wedding! we had a brief visit last week end (eek, delayed post) to visit with our pals and our furry friends gussie and millie...squirrel had a blast. sometimes, it's just nice to enjoy the outdoors and a grassy lawn.

congratulations on your first wedding anniversary! xoxoxo

privilege...

2011-04-29T19:16:00.004-07:00

we learned very recently that our sweet, sweet squirrel was accepted to what is known to many as "THE" school in Oahu. (The one where our president went--the capitol P.) awww!

i was immediately swept up in the fervor--of hope for an amazing adventure, of affirmation of our squirrel's abilities, of parental pride (she has no connection to the school which some have said is an advantage) so she did this based on their observations of her and teacher recommendations alone, about the competitive pool that she somehow emerged at the top of, basically, of all these things that are...aside from the hope and love that i have for squirrel...really not that important. at all.

squirrel is an amazing creature, so confident in herself and her abilities, so eager to learn, so happy, so--comfortable in her skin. she will do great where ever she goes.

but it was a bit of a roller coaster getting to the above two sensible sentences. including a heart-wrenching (and very kind) conversation with the financial aid office--they gave us an aid package for which we are so grateful--but the heart of the financial picture is that their tuition is the most expensive in the state, and we can't afford it. in fact, you might wonder why we even applied; i'd read all the materials--where they say your financial picture shouldn't preclude attendance, and that they offer financial aid. so...we applied and entered squirrel in the great lottery x2--to see if she'd get in, and to see if we'd qualify for enough aid.

congratulations to squirrel! but...the aid isn't anywhere close to what we would need to send her there, which is the price, i suppose, of privileged education. (btw, this post is NOT about getting down on private schools.) when we looked at our lifestyle (no cable, no fancy phones, no landline; econo-budget parents, i haven't bought myself a new dress in years, etc.) and racked our brains about where to cut (if we sold our car, we could afford to send her there for...maybe one year...but what about the remaining 12?), i realized i was both acting crazy and making myself crazy.

so. i'm really crying because i can't send squirrel to the big P for the big K? Well...yes, I was definitely quivery, i admit it. i'm doing everything i can to get all the information i can--meeting with the admissions/financial aid director at the end of next week. all signs are pointing to a different reality, but since we don't have to officially "decide" for a bit longer, i'm going to live in a dream where she gets to attend President Obama's amazing alma mater for another week or so.

and then in a little while, i'll get my head screwed back on and be grateful for reality, such as squirrel and ladybug being happy, healthy, loved and taken care of, smart and hilarious and wonderful. that we are blessed with so much bounty, living in the luxuries of modern america, making a home in our sweet and wonderful little townhouse nestled near the koolau mountains--which was a miracle in itself--see previous posts in 2009.

the girls are full of joy, unbridled, hilarious joy that bubbles over when their arms are clasped around each other, giggling and laughing with delight. and so am i.

not for dieters

2011-04-17T22:33:00.003-07:00

i was so tickled to learn that someone was using my recipes, so thought i'd post what i made tonight--we make this every so often. :-)

PORK ROAST WITH GRAVY

4-4.5 lbs boneless/skinless pork butt (usually goes on sale for 1.99.lbs--that's super cheap for hawaii, but i've lost touch with mainland prices--i wonder if that's expensive elsewhere?)
salt, pepper, and load roast up with garlic and onion powder.
brown all sides, then put roast in a pot.
cut up an onion (i use sweet onion) and fry in the roast drippings, dump in the pot.
add 2 cups water (you can also add a 1/2 can of chicken broth)
simmer for 2-3 hours-the longer, the better.

take roast out--you'll know it's ready when it falls apart when you stick your tongs into it.
shred up roast.

gravy:
poor all the roast juices into a saucepan--there'll be quite a lot.
add canned mushrooms (or you can saute fresh mushrooms, tastes better) to the gravy
thicken with cornstarch as you see fit (two heaping TBLSP of cornstarch to half cup water--i know top chef contestants would turn their nose up to cornstarch, but it doesn't seem to bother us--i guess we're slummin' it!)
bring to boil, then simmer and serve
oh, and add some salt and pepper to taste--but usually doesn't need much salt

this is not for a dieter, clearly... lol! pork roast can last for days, we're big on leftovers at chez sunnywave, but you can also freeze the leftovers for later, it's great for when you don't have time cook!

zoo

2011-04-09T13:51:00.001-07:00

actually...the girls are sick again--another round of ear infection (ladybug), cold virus (squirrel), ear infection again (ladybug), cold virus again (ladybug & squirrel). knock on wood squirrel seems to be on the mend--she missed almost a whole week of school, but she's back to her normal self today.

But...meant to post these a while back...

someone loves the giraffes...

we took the girls to the zoo when we were off for prince kuhio day (among his many accomplishments, he was the first territorial representative to the u.s. congress, and the first to author a statehood bill in 1919--hawaii became a state in 1959).

squirrel and ladybug were each in heaven in their own ways. i have to remember to cherish these moments.

by the way, this is a perfect representation of ms ladybug--the way she hangs over her stroller like she's in the front car of a giant rollercoaster, squealing with delight. she just charges everything! i remember once she rushed the side of a table at a bake sale, thinking the tablecloth hanging on the side was a wall--ready to tap her hands on it with a good love pat. instead, she crashed through the tablecloth and landed in a box of tapioca. with a minor squeal, she bounced back and was off to the next excitement.

and a bonus pic with our boys...post ballet lesson, we hooked up with our pals for some fun in town. we miss being close neighbors, so have to make the most of it when we're on the sunny side of the island.

puri

2011-03-26T19:38:00.003-07:00

last saturday we had a bbq with our friends--visiting with uncle c's friend's wife and two kids who are here escaping from the (salami) mentioned in the last post. uncle c. brought a little friend that we haven't seen in a long, long, long, time. squirrel was so excited. the weather was blustery--winds somewhere between 25 - 45 mph it seemed, but it was nice to be outside and the sun felt warm on our skin.

to tell you the truth, we really miss little puri, but he seems so much happier in his new home. <3 someday, we hope to be home to a furry friend...

parent day

2011-03-19T14:44:00.003-07:00

another reason why we love squirrel's school--the sweethearts prepared a 'parent day lunch' for us, including activities planned for the past month. field trip to sam's club to pick up ingredients, class activities of chopping, chopping, chopping, as well as braiding leis and decorating table cloths. the night before, squirrel practiced her words: mommy, do you want juice or water? (talk about melting). the day of, it was supposed to be a cooking activity--imagine, 28 little kids helping to make lunch for their parents, so sweet. and i'm kind of exhausted just thinking about it! i'm totally in awe of these preschool teachers, btw.

the lunch was rescheduled to a parent day 'dessert' due to the tsunami warning...but it was just as sweet and fun. and i don't mean to make light of it (at all, seriously, most of me lives in denial about the tsunami, whole towns wiped away in seconds, my heart can't cope), but squirrel's teacher reported to us that squirrel said: school was closed because of the salami.

and a bonus pic of ladybug...up and active and loving her seahorse.

school fair

2011-03-09T17:52:00.000-08:00

i can't tell you how much we love squirrel's preschool. i'm feeling growing pains about the big K next year, but for now, we're enjoying every moment here. this year, we were all able to go to the annual school fair (last year, ladybug and i were homebound, since we were twelve days post partum or something like that). the fair was filled with tons of activities, including face painting and the infamous pony ride. she's growing up so fast, but on top of the 'pony,' she looks tiny...not sure what squirrel liked most of all--the actual pony ride or being carried around by uncle s. (b.d.'s friend from a bazillion years ago). we were so lucky, though, she was the last little kid they let ride on the horse! and...i have to admit, mommy has as much fun at fairs/carnivals as the kids, lol.

baby luau

2011-03-06T11:08:00.004-08:00

aunty heathre's fabulous pics of the luau...just picked out some of the girls. *heart* i can't believe it's march already, and the luau is a memory already...? it was so fun and wonderful having everyone together to celebrate. *hug*love*smoosh*

things have been a bit topsy turvy since these festivities...but we're surviving and making the best of things. life can be so hard, but what can we do but keep trying our best?

part of our hearts

2011-02-22T21:15:00.000-08:00

ladybug's luau was so amazing for us--a way to celebrate not just ladybug, but everyone who has impacted our little family and given us support and love along the journey. when we're in the grind, it's easy to lose sight of the ones that we love and who love us, so caught up in getting to and fro and finishing tasks and chores. that's really what the luau is about...celebrating the village that surrounds us, the people who inspire us to be better parents, friends, sisters, brothers--to be better people.

as you can see, there is a vacuum of pictures of the actual luau, as well as the many days when we had our mainland visitors with us. our family photographer, the amazing and talented heathre, will soon grace us with her wonderful shots! until then...here's a few of our extended ohana.
squirrel and h.--a savvy three (almost four) year old new yorker who already knows how to hail cabs--met for the first time and had a ball!
ladybug loving up grandpa b.
the kids in awe of the tako (octopus) that big daddy caught--he let him go back to the ocean--and he was sooo cool to look at!
a stroll with grandma maggie at grandma gale's beach house in punaluu.

bread and beach

2011-02-13T22:57:00.005-08:00

i got this recipe from tofuscloset's blog, and had to try! (recipe is here) there's just something nice about having bread baking in your oven. of course if you're not a sleep deprived klutz like myself, you probably won't burn the crap out of your finger! but it was pretty yummy; i gave the second loaf to my mom and her ladyfriends to enjoy at their vacation rental...

which is where we went today...ladybug had her first real encounter with sand, and she decided she liked it! meaning, she liked eating it, so we'll have to be more vigilant the next time we go. can't believe she is going to be one. there's so much in that statement i just can't do justice to it...especially with a baby running around getting ornery before bedtime...she's actually ornery and laughing at the same time...and trying to eat squirrel's armchair. hmm...better pack it in and say good night.

gearing up

2011-02-07T16:40:00.003-08:00

for baby ladybug's luau...first arrivals include grandma gale, and her two lady friends, having rented a beach cottage in punaluu. unfortunately, the family is still sick, with two girls and daddy on antibiotics, and mommy succumbing fast. so when we went visiting last friday, poor squirrel wasn't allowed to go swimming, she's hacking up a lung every hour or so, but she seemed happy enough to run around and stayed relatively dry. =)

i've been in denial, of course, about being sick, but when i couldn't roll out of bed yesterday, realized that denial only takes you so far! can't wait to go take a nap in a few minutes with ladybug. have to get better. must get better. pronto. =)

crawling out of sick...

2011-02-02T22:52:00.003-08:00

it's the sinus/ear infection that never ends. first squirrel, then daddy, then ladybug. then daddy again, then ladybug tummy bug, now ladybug ear infection. with a healthy dose of antibiotics, everyone should be right as rain, soon.

geeky

2011-01-24T20:00:00.000-08:00

well...okay, here's a confession. I wrote a chapter for a library science book--and much to my surprise, it was accepted for publication. the title of my chapter is: "From Solo Librarian to Super Librarian" (trying to be somewhat creative).

I know, you can laugh. and as much as i laugh, too, i'm a little proud. it's also coming out some time this year, just got the author release form in the mail. but i totally don't expect you to go find it or buy it. hee hee.

(p.s. and just to clarify, "arriving" was just a short essay to be included in an anthology, due out in april)

some new years happenings...

2011-01-19T20:11:00.008-08:00

we've managed to have some fun in the new year--ladybug is seriously running, now, and is such a personality, with her smiles and also with her frustrations. being the baby can be sooo frustrating, to start with, not being able to climb stairs, although she's just added climbing in general to her repertoire (sigh), as well as not quite having the dexterity with her fingers to open up screw tops or other such containers that contain things that she-shouldn't-be-touching. but, for the most part, she is generally in good spirits, and often is in the expression as seen here.

i've been calling her 'three-tooth,' as she's got two bottom teeth and one on the top, although there's another one coming through.

squirrel continues to be the sweetie big sister, loving her up. and ladybug just loves up her big sister, too, which i have to say is pretty cute, following her everywhere and squealing with delight. sometimes we have to reign squirrel in a bit, like hugging and every now and then stopping her mid-tackle, but for the most part, ladybug is one tough cookie who rolls with the punches, er...squeezes and occasional rub downs from her big sister.

an extra pic of squirrel on the merry-go-round...how did she become such a little girl? arggh? stop.time.

we recently took the girls to Foster Botanical Garden, home of giant trees.

Including their Bo tree, which traces its genealogy back to the very Bo tree that Buddha sat under in India...ladybug had been fussy the entire time, until we were about to leave, when she decided to finally fall asleep underneath it. (and, er, here's a better pic of the actual tree, click here)

and then...everyone got sick...and that's about all we've done so far in 2011! ;-)

belated santa pic 2010

2011-01-06T17:26:00.006-08:00

take two! a much different experience, see take one

p.s. squirrel asked for a unicorn and a pony...hmm...she meant the real deal, but thankfully she was excited about the stuffed, mini versions that appeared in her stocking and as presents. <3

arriving...

2011-01-04T13:29:00.001-08:00

was accepted for publication and is due out in april... :-)

fireworks & looking back

2011-01-02T18:24:00.012-08:00

Happy New Year!

A note on fireworks: the City & Co. of Honolulu has banned ALL consumer fireworks (sparklers, people, even sparklers!) effective 1/2/2011…what tha…? I must admit I have been known to love a crackling ball or two, and to have our girls grow up without knowing what a sparkler is seems a bit extreme…I am not a fan of houses catching on fire, but this ordinance seems quite austere. So until there is a repeal…here’s a pic of our last new year’s celebration a la fire…thanks to aunty a. for showing me the ‘fireworks’ setting on our camera! :-)

***

Okay, so the very first thing i did in 2010 was burn the S* out of my eye. i remember trying hard not to think that was somehow setting the tone for the rest of the year--i'm prone to reading messages from the 'universe,' and normally, no matter what's thrown at me, i usually read it in a positive light. (kind of annoying, maybe, my steadfast yearning to see everything as a good sign, as a chance to make things better.) at the time i was the size of the state of texas, waddling around with baby ladybug in the belly who would make her grand appearance on valentine's day--and despite a string of very loud obscenities blazing out of my mouth (squirrel was thankfully still asleep) i was determined that 2010 would not be the year of the burnt eyeball.

but to be truthful, 2010 had more than its share of down and plain S* moments. i haven't had a chance to peruse through the blog entries, and i doubt it would have shone through as clearly as I felt it, because i filter everything through that sunnywave lens. i have never been so stretched emotionally, physically, psychologically... like a rubberband that can't possibly take one more .01 ounce of pressure--and actually felt myself snapping in two, thinking I can't act worse, I can't possibly go on like this, feeling myself swallow into a tank of further S* thoughts...

and somehow, every day, miraculously I’d wake up in the morning...and find myself intact. somehow able to laugh, and enjoy, and be thankful...at least part of the time. seems like breathing is a small miracle in this circus and madhouse of our family--with all the pressure and the trenches and the drama and the poo. but the baby laughter and the sweet squirrel announcing that she will transform into a unicorn and the walking and dancing and singing and bouncing...thank goodness for those moments, too. the other day, i woke up at the crack of dawn, both girls in the bed, big sister sitting up clapping, baby sister sitting up clapping back at her, and my heart was full...some veteran moms that i know tell me to savor these moments and i am trying...and failing...and trying again. and so in a way, it was kind of the year of the burnt eyeball, and also a year of fierce drama and of love and of laughter and of yelling and pulling my hair out and laughing some more. So while I’m not going to end this post by saying thank you to the S#*t that makes me stronger, because I really am not thankful for the bullcrap, but I'm grateful for the many good things, so so thankful for our health and home and family and friends the things that I lose sight of in the trenches. (like being able to make home-made cookies for santa at squirrel's request--sugar cookies that I grew up with and the recipe handed down from my grandmother...with homemade icing, too. and when squirrel saw the crumbs on the plate on christmas morning, she shouted so happily: 'he ATE them!')

p.s. the first thing i did in 2011 was *not* burn my eyeball.

walking, for real

2010-12-16T20:42:00.001-08:00

it's official--ladybug's main mode of transportation these days are her little legs. oh, and she turned 10 months two days ago. what happened, time?

baby tree

2010-12-12T20:58:00.001-08:00

since ladybug started walking (and grabbing, and chewing, and reaching, and clutching) we decided to get a very small tree, a table-top, actually, and have only dared to put on the lights. and about three ornaments. plus, we've barricaded that side of the living room with various objects, a wall that she manages to bust through every now and then. still, it's festive and we're so excited for the holidays. every day, i try to remember to savor, remember, enjoy the christmas season. begone deadlines and work stress and worry about getting everything done and just right and pressure! a conscious effort--to stay in the moment and be thankful, and a bit wishful, and hopeful that little acts of kindness will ripple out into the world to make it a better place.

squirrel has been asking to see santa again, we'll probably go very soon...and i can't believe it's actually been a year since santa visit, take one! am giggling a bit just remembering it. happy holidays and merry, merry christmas!

some cuteness...

2010-12-01T22:21:00.002-08:00

aquarium

2010-11-14T23:01:00.002-08:00

we have two people in this family who are just crazy about ocean animals. i am, too, actually, but i think this passion is hard-wired in the genes with these two...love the waikiki aquarium on a windy-ish day.

they have both indoor and outdoor exhibits--two hawaiian monk seals and a petting tank, although ms squirrel wasn't having the hermit crabs! her favorites were the sharks, and the tako that would swim around and change color. oooh...we like their lawn, nice and clean and great for a family picnic.

in other news, baby ladybug is nine months old today! awk! she's totally standing, taking two-three steps, then plops down on her butt. we are on the watch for more exciting developments to come.

writerly

2010-11-10T06:56:00.007-08:00

Hmm…been thinking lately that there’s a lot that I don’t write about on this blog. I don’t write about work, out of some strange professional paranoia that someone will discover it. It’s not that I don’t want work to know about my personal life, or yes, maybe it is, but it’s more about self censorship—that I don’t want to disrespect the experiences of other people—especially the people I’m responsible for—at work. Or maybe it’s because the “in-charge” persona that I embody in my career life seems at odds with the mushy, emotional person that I let myself be here. (not that the mushy doesn't come out at work, it's just contained better)

And then I don’t write a lot about my fledgling writing career, little bits and pieces strewn in various publications. I don’t do the how-tos and what-ifs of writing, or list the countless links of resources and agent and editor blogs out there that I find quite entertaining. Or the author blogs that both entertain and inform, as well as publicize their work. I keep telling myself I’ll make a writer’s blog one day, maybe someday, when I’ve ‘made it’ in that world (what is making it, anyway?), but there are so many other ones out there. What’s one more writer’s blog?

The other day I went cruising online and found a ton of international adoptee blogs. This came to mind because I recently submitted a narrative essay to an anthology on international adoptees which led me to this link (don’t click if you don’t want your heart to get tugged into pieces). Which led me to wondering how many international adoptees are out there…and what they struggle with…which led me to some amazing blogs. And even a blog about a first mother—someone who gave up her daughter for adoption and writes about her conflicting experiences as she spends time with her in a quasi open adoption set-up. although i think she ended her blog. Which made my heart wring some more.

So I wonder why I don’t write about all of these things. I guess I don’t have the answer, yet. I know it has something to do with my weird and private side which is totally antithetical with having a blog in the first place. I remember this all started as a hobby-slash-time-killer when i busted up my pelvis way back when, then it morphed into an open letter to my chosen peoples that I love—and if others happen to stumble upon it, that would be okay. and now it's a kind of updater, because our world is so far away from many of those same people that i love so much. should i apologize for being so weird? or just embrace it. okay, embrace away.

So in quasi-attempt to change it up a little bit—here’s the brief narrative essay about my experience as an international adoptee that I wrote, somewhat fitting considering that my birthday just recently passed...Arriving

happy halloween!

2010-11-02T16:36:00.010-07:00

a purple butterfly, with sparkly shoes, out early to hand out some treats to her friends.

fun with uncle steven

two little pairs of wings

a bat flanked by a fairy and a butterfly...

big sister: trick-or-treat!
baby: what's with the night time stroll? am i going to get in on this excitement, or what? :-)

pumpkin

2010-10-27T20:02:00.002-07:00

growing up in michigan, our pumpkins usually duked it out with rain or even snow. i remember getting all excited about a halloween costume, and then having it rain or sleet or hail, and having to cover it all up with a dreaded winter coat. i'm sure i argued with my mom a few times--are you serious? it's 35 degrees out, i don't need a coat! it's practically 40! And 40 is almost 50!

now, i've discovered the excitement of mold. if you carve your pumpkin too early, in a couple of days, it's covered with a thin sheet of fuzz. by day three or four, depending on how humid it's been, it's speckled in black, then eventually it caves in and looks like a pumpkin zombie, which i guess goes along with the whole halloween theme, and you you wonder what else could be growing inside it. yes, gross, sorry...

so, in order to maintain a somewhat hazard-free zone since there is an infant in the house, i bought a baby pumpkin and let ms. squirrel go at it with a marker. and i just love this...love the expression on her first halloween pumpkin creation.

have a great (and safe) halloween!

hello, ocean!

2010-10-22T15:14:00.004-07:00

i'm smiling from ear-to-ear today. i got to paddle out in this beautiful water and ride some small waves that came through--lucky enough to be alone since there's a declining swell on the north shore, so apparently everyone went to the country today. i don't mind the mini-size, because i'm weak in the paddling department. even a sea turtle poked it's little head out of the water to say hello, and i was singing to myself with just the ocean breeze and the white wash to hear me. maybe others further off thought that lady with the poochy belly was a little weird, but that's okay, too. :-) thank you, mother ocean!

p.s. to my dear friends who i may have tortured in the past with the militant "paddle, paddle, paddle": total payback, today! the enforcer swallowed her own medicine and i'm walking around with flappy, noodle arms, ha ha ha!
p.p.s. the break is the white line of white wash in the distance...a looong way out, which is another reason behind the noodle arms.

sick, sick, sick

2010-10-10T10:42:00.000-07:00

a sick bug has flown into the f-squared household and temporarily taken up residence. it started with baby, then spread to big sister who still has a little bit of the sniffles, then to b.d. who blew up into a sinus infection + pink eye symptoms, and now mommy has finally succumbed, although i'm in huge denial about it (not sick, not sick, i'm.not.sick. !!) help!

standing and ballet

2010-10-03T08:16:00.000-07:00

someone has been asking to go to ballerina school since she was two. i kept thinking it was a phase, that it would be lost in the stream of consciousness, but the request was repeated periodically for so long, i realized i needed to make this happen. so! we've enrolled and she loves it and tells me she has fun and can't wait to go back. her ballet teacher is very patient, even when the other sweet little girls are leaping and tiptoeing along and squirrel is in the back hanging off the bar. we're working on listening, we really are...(yesterday was lesson #4).

and this is not new, but ladybug is bona fide standing. pic is from her 7 month birthday, but she was standing for a couple of weeks before this (what tha-?!) and we haven't even secured the house from a crawling ladybug, let alone a walking one. is this blog my means to keep up with the world or just a true confessions of the many ways i'm slacking lately? arrrgh. !@#!

p.s. happy birthday aunty header! :-)

dear 9 to 5, or rather, 7 to 4:

2010-09-28T00:30:00.004-07:00

be kind. and considerate. gentle to others and self. put my best foot forward. and it's okay to be testy and frustrated about things that i can't control, but not okay to let those things ruin my life. smile genuinely. be patient. and diligent. *sigh* trying.

my mantra of late: be courteous, conscientious, and fair.

grateful

2010-09-19T23:25:00.007-07:00

i realize lately i've been "in" the whirlpool--dwelling on the things that make us pull our hair out about parenting (sorry!). so i dedicate this post to all of those wonderful people in our lives who help us make this journey easier and make us realize there is so much more to celebrate, by sharing their friendship and love with our little family. and they can't all be pictured in one little post and my words cannot do justice to how much it means to me (and to us) that they're a part of our lives. here's just a few snapshots of some friendly happiness of late--that we're so lucky to share in: squirrel's little friend e. and family, who we've known since before they were born (!) enlisting uncle to push them on the swings; her best school pal w. who's been there every step of the way since she was toddling around preschool, pictured playing at the zoo (thank you for taking her that day!! she had a ball sans parents); uncle steven, whose visits are met with delight and hours of games, games, games, and who has been with us to celebrate every milestone so far; and this last picture is a bike that was given to squirrel two christmases ago, and her uncle spent the afternoon tugging her uphill, so she could coast gently down the street. :)
and again, this does not do justice to the aunties and uncles near and far, who we are so lucky to know and call as part of our extended family, as i've only gotten 10 seconds--well--oops must save fussy ladybug from her stuffed caterpillar! love.heart.hugs.

sisters

2010-09-16T19:54:00.002-07:00

been preoccupied by the roller coaster and am overdue with the blog. i feel like i'm in a whirlpool! from this standpoint--two is double the fun, triple the trouble (good and not so good!), quadruple the work. and yet what can i say but that we're blessed? although truthfully, when i'm woken twice in the night that might not be the first thought through my head...sigh...so i've been trucking back and forth between delight and guilt, arrgh. ladybug seems to be breaking in a *molar* ouch! that hasn't affected her general good nature during the day, though, or stopped her gummy smiles at her big sister and just about anyone who wiggles their eyebrows at her. not only is she sitting up, but she's seriously standing (and has been for the last two weeks), venturing to take steps with the help of the footstool/couch/mommy's hands/whatever seems to be holding her up.

when she does cry, squirrel says: 'oh! baby needs me!' and 'there's no crying when you have a big sister!' ha ha ha, squirrel is quite the nurturer.

oh dear, a little drama with the table and now ladybug has decided to munch on one of squirrel's works of art. adieu five minutes of catch-up time! :-)

love the ocean

2010-08-29T14:28:00.001-07:00

one of my favorite beaches...sherwoods. we went there last week end to wish our friends a fond farewell as they head to new adventures in California. We have to look out for portugese-man-o-war, but we were lucky this time. i love the sound of the waves, and the look of pure delight on squirrel's face whenever she's playing in the sand or doing anything remotely 'ocean'-y.

we also took baby ladybug, who is bonafide crawling now, to a beach birthday party at hickham air force base. the water there is gentler, but ladybug was not having it. as soon as she dipped her toes in, she cried! poor baby girl. there's plenty of time to get introduced to the wondrous, beautiful sea. and speaking of ladybug, she just crawled over and is trying to suck on my toes, better run.

p.s. sending an extra hug out to you wonderful ladies who read this blog and know just what to say. i feel blessed you are in my life. love you!!!

halfway to a year...

2010-08-15T16:58:00.006-07:00

i'm totally slacking lately with writing coherent thoughts on this blog. someone mentioned to me recently that i'm "not the only person in the world to have two kids..." and i'm not sure how to take that. i don't think they meant to be offensive, and yet, i felt a little judged and a little sting at the edge of that comment. okay, so maybe i shouldn't be crying that sometimes i'm so tired my eyes feel like they're going to fall out, or that i drag myself to work every day with my head dangling two inches behind me. and i know my life could be much.worse.more.crazy.more.fill in the blank.crappy. i know that with all my heart--i'm so grateful for what we have. i feel guilty when i pack it in with a dose of grump.

maybe, i just wish there was more room in the world for people to live and feel and experience without having to live up to other's expectations of what's supposed to be hard or easy or whatever. that when you're feeling down and out it doesn't have to be a competition or measured against who has the biggest load. it just is. some days i feel so happy i can't believe i'm so lucky to be in this skin. and other times i feel like i'm coming a bit unglued and i wish i had more time.time.time to soak it all in. i don't know--to be able to finish a sentence or not stuff ten bites of noodles down my throat in 10 seconds or less or...to sit down and have a thought that's between me and heaven.

sorry to the world for complaining. my heart feels a little funny today. what can i say but i wish that it didn't?

ladybug is halfway to a year this week end. i can't believe it! and her fabulous hat was sewn by her super sweet aunty leah. by the way, it looks like she's sitting up all by herself, and she can--for about five seconds (very sneaky mom shot with the camera and the chair at border's). big sister is very into "my baby" and will sing to her and read her stories. when i see them together that way, i wish i could take a picture with my heart and keep it there forever. or maybe, i did already. dear heart, please don't forget this.

summer love

2010-08-05T21:38:00.002-07:00

i've trying to post but it's been so amazingly whirlwindy around here...not sure how i manage to keep my head pasted on top of my neck half the time. although maybe some people will argue that it's slipping off-center...eek!

July has come and gone and with it, some wonderful ups and downs. we had a fantabulous time with aunty kimberly and we even got to celebrate a new little friend's 1st birthday! e's baby brother turned 1 and squirrel was more than happy to participate in the pool fun. i got sick...yet again...although seem to have made a full recovery (knock on wood). miss ladybug has officially graduated to rice cereal and i'm trying to step it up on the solid foods department...she'll be six months in less than two weeks, double eek!

speaking of ladybug, there is a.lot.of.rolling going on around the house. a lot of pulling herself up onto her knees, as well as following all of the action (a.k.a. squirrel eating, playing, singing, reading--it's way too cute to see squirrel read the very hungry caterpillar to baby sister) with quite the attentive glance, taking it allll in. hee hee hee. i can't wait to see what will transpire in the next few months, but i so desperately want to keep these moments from slipping through my fingers. sigh.

must sleep now...

aunty kimberly

2010-07-27T17:33:00.003-07:00

it's her last day...*cry*

my heart gets so full watching the girls love up their aunties. aunty kimberly has a special place in the f-squared family. in just a few short days, the squirrel has become like superglue...so cute. hugs.

new post = no post

2010-07-19T21:20:00.001-07:00

sorry...been sick and embodying a whirlwind of activity, but who isn't busy these days?! arrgh. cold turned into sinus infection...my first in my whole life! now i know what b.d. complains about. but, am on the mend. ladybug is passed out and i need to go sleep, too. she turned five months this past week; can't believe it. !@#$!@ despite being sick, things have been pretty gooey cute around here. feeling lucky and blessed for my family. in a few days, aunty kimberly will arrive! can't wait.

happy birthday, belated post

2010-07-10T17:57:00.003-07:00

dear squirrel,
you turned four and i can't count the many ways that i adore you. i wish i had more time to write them all down, it seems like most of my time is taken up by chasing after you, and that's just how it is, right? how did you grow up so fast? i asked you that a little while ago, and you said, "mommy, i had my birthday." oh. right.

here's some of the many things that i love about you: the way you articulate the ideas in your head with the words that come out of your mouth, your (loud) laughter, your love of learning, the way you turn the pages when you 'read' a book, the confidence with which you make choices, the absolute joyous way you eat ice cream. i love your hugs and i love hearing you tell your daddy stories or sing a song all on your own. and lately, i love how you check on baby sister to make sure she is okay and doesn't roll off her blankie. gosh, i'm just gushing sweet squirrel, but what i can say, that i'm so happy to be your mom.

this year we celebrated your birthday twice--once at home with a cake and a small present, and then later at the beach with all of your friends. we are so so so lucky to share in the love of friends and family and aunties and uncles near and far who celebrated with us. when i get a chance, i try to stay in that moment of you watching the waves rushing in to tickle your feet. (before you curiously poked a portuguese man-o-war and got a sting! owie! good thing we had some benadryl gel and a princess band aid.) all in all, you told us you had the best birthday ever, and so did we. xoxoxo

love,
your mommy

be still my heart

2010-06-25T19:19:00.005-07:00

i've been having trouble lately with matching what's going on inside with the words that come out of my mouth or on the keyboard. i think part of it has to do with the speed at which i'm living...scampering two steps behind the squirrel, awakened by the ladybug, wondering when i'll get the next nap in, finish the next chore, go to work, work work work, more chores, naptime or bedtime madness, and before i know it, it's the middle of night all over again. so i'm trying to figure out how to slow.down. enjoy the small things: the song squirrel sings in the backseat while driving across the mountain, the little card she drew when she, ladybug, and i are awake in the wee hours of the morning. the 30 seconds she stood next to me 'stirring' the pancakes that she requested for breakfast. ladybug's giggle when i sing to her, the way she's trying to grab her favorite blanket. is it too soon for a favorite blanket?

even this blog has been so hurried lately, trying to find the words that wrap up our life and reach out to the world. because i feel it spinning by, at 1040 miles an hour, that somehow gravity comes undone just a fraction and i'm trying to hang on so i don't fly away. and on most days i tell myself like a mantra, enjoy the ride, enjoy the ride, but i sometimes tear up thinking it's going by so fast. slooow down, i pray, please slow down.

and for this one second, the house is quiet, ladybug is sleeping, the squirrel and b.d. have rumbled away in our new family truck to the grocery store to pick up a couple things i need for dinner, a calm breath before a whirlwind of action. stillness.

enough for me to cherish this sweet smile...

p.s. welcome to the world little niece and nephew!! we're thinking of you! xoxo

family portrait(s)

2010-06-22T15:39:00.003-07:00

been meaning to post these family portraits, taken by the lovely and talented aunty heathre.

mommy: will smile no matter what--finally, a pic of all of us together!
ladybug: hmm...wonder when i'll get to drink some more milk.
squirrel: grrrr. a.k.a. 'cheese.'
daddy: yep, there's mommy, trying to get us all in one pic together, sigh.

and take two:

mommy: will smile no matter what--finally, a pic of all of us together! yay yay yay!
ladybug: i'll smile, too, think the milk is getting closer.
squirrel: maybe i'll smile this time...but only because i adore aunty heather and *not* because mommy and daddy asked!
daddy: yep, there's mommy, still trying to get us all in one pic together...

chink in the bravado

2010-06-15T17:07:00.000-07:00

well...knew it couldn't be *that* easy to return to work. the needle has calibrated back to medium. it's a combination of missing my ladybug's sweet face and the unveiling of some strange drama at work. the fiscal year end crush is a nice distraction from all of that--extremely busy, and yet a good time to come back so i can't worry about what's not in my control.

okay, and here's a pic of the new mommy haircut...

btw, i'm seriously going bald. i'm a little worried about it--can't remember how long this lasted with the squirrel, but hair comes out by the handfuls. help!

bringing home the bacon

2010-06-06T00:50:00.006-07:00

well...after all that build up, the return to work was a bit anti-climactic. it wasn't the evil-oh-no-i'm-away-from-sweet-ladybug tragedy that i thought it would be. i actually like my job--and somehow i was surprised that it's not nearly as tiring as caring for an infant. i remember days of thinking: oh sweet lady, if you'd only take a nap, then mommy can take a nap, too. but it's not like after i finish a legal research project or draft a memo or hold a meeting, that i'm like, oh yay, i *so* need to nap! *knock on wood* i hope it's not the honeymoon stage, so i shouldn't get ahead of myself. after all, i do recall days in the past where a little nap at work would have rocked my world...along with a glass of soymilk and chocolate chip cookies, too! ha ha ha. (do they even do that in kindergarten anymore? i hear kindergarten is the new 1st grade, but don't get me started on that tangent...) anyway, i wonder if it's that the stakes have changed or if it's all brand new again...or...who knows...i'll check back in later.

big adjustment to the balancing act, though. the commute and the drop-off/pick-up of the kids is challenging, with a whirlwind of activities squeezed into the evening. !! by 9:00pm i'm ready to pass out, just to wake up at 5:15am to start it all again. i guess that's nothing new, what am i complaining about? for i am so grateful to have my job--one that's challenging and makes me use my brain (in a different way from mothering) and where i learn something new every day. and supports our little family. (hmmm...so of course i still miss seeing sweet ladybug's face during the day, but it's just not as bad as I'd built it up to be!)

more aunty heathre shots...she is so talented! i wish she was still here. *hug*

p.s. not sure why ladybug's pic is displaying sideways. i tried rotating it, reloading it, making a copy and then reloading again, but it won't upload correctly! sigh, modern technology...

return...

2010-06-01T11:50:00.003-07:00

well...this is it. the last day before the "big" day--meaning i go back to work tomorrow. one tiny corner of my brain is somewhat happy about that, but it is a very small corner. i'm all about bringing home some bacon, especially since we bought our new house, but it is so.nice to be home with ladybug. what happened, time? but time hasn't been so nice to my body--it would probably be good to have a break from carrying her all over the place, my shoulder feels weirdly dislocated during my waking hours, and my back is killing me--and my p.t. thinks going back will help my pelvis situation, since i won't be up and down the stairs with a growing chub connected to me. hmm...either i'm old or a wus, or both. actually, it's both.

we did have a great time with aunty heathre, though! i can't believe she's gone already, it went by so fast, like the best dream, where you remember every moment and wish you didn't have to wake up. these are her pictures...miss you!!!

p.s. squirrel has asked to go live with aunty heathre, hope that's okay. :)

taking care

2010-05-24T19:23:00.002-07:00

little one at three months old (how has it been three months already?)...

and big sister taking care of "her" babies.

health update: ladybug's cold has gone into her chest, knock on wood that it stays just a cold and doesn't turn into anything else. she is still being her cute, happy self! she weighed in at 13 lbs at the doctor's today...think i'm developing some 'guns' from carrying her around!

gearing up for our visit from aunty heather, woot, woot!!!

talking...

2010-05-20T17:46:00.008-07:00

ladybug's cold has returned us to the land of mommy-is-a-zombie. yes, i am again a MOMBIE. despite her coughing and sneezing, however, she continues to be happy and smiley. so i can't even be grumpy, because she is being so cute. i've been meaning to post this--taken a couple of days before everyone got sick!

p.s. uploaded a second time--for some reason the first one came out all blurry...

sick...

2010-05-18T12:20:00.003-07:00

we've been battling colds for the last week, boo! first the squirrel, then grandma jan, then me, and now the ladybug has started coughing this morning. b.d. is the last man standing--he's been taking *great* care of us!!

other news: i *chopped* my hair, woo hoo, so liberating! actually, i'm not sure if i like it, but it will grow back.

ladybug made her three month birthday--i'll post pics and videos soon.

aunty heather arrives in one week! i'm getting better, though, just in time for her visit. :)

the girls...

2010-05-10T20:35:00.003-07:00

not sure how i got to be so lucky to have two girls. i guess i just want to say how thankful i am these two healthy, happy little ones are in my world, and i have to thank the mothers in my life who have helped me find my path towards motherhood. i actually never imagined that i'd be a mom myself--maybe because i was scared to find out how much you can really love someone(s), maybe because that kind of love makes me cry somewhere deep down, in a good, good way, but also in a way where i'm afraid that i could lose it, maybe because i've lost it myself. so when i look around and see all of these women who inspire me, who i love and who love me even with all of my flaws, and still laugh with me and cry with me, i'm thankful. for your influence in my life and for showing me it's okay to be scared and it's okay to love and that kind of love doesn't disappear. hugs.

almost there...

2010-05-02T20:23:00.001-07:00

i had a week of 'making it through the night'--i.e. 5:00 - 6:00am!!! WOW! I know, I know, I couldn't believe it either. go ladybug, go!

The streak ended last night, though, with the usual 3AM, I'm HUNGRY! i actually took this picture during a graveyard shift a week ago in a fit of sleep deprived mommy madness. Still...she's only 11 weeks old so why do i have my panties in a bunch around this? Probably because I'm feeling a bit of the countdown to my return to work. T-minus one month...I go back June 2nd. (so when i have a night like last night, i think, crap. how am i going to function at work all day long?! and i know i have to suck it up, but that thought doesn't exactly lift the morale in an inspirational way...hmmm...)

so am just trying to take this one day at a time. !!

exhaustion...

2010-04-25T21:14:00.000-07:00

wow, ladybug looks so peaceful in these pictures. she really is a sweetheart baby, so i feel guilty when i feel like crapola. she was doing so good with the sleep thing this week, until friday night! now she's waking up again and again and again. i'm sorry to complain but i just feel like the crud that is under your shoe after you go marching through a summer carnival that includes horse shows and farm animal contests and such. (am i even making sense here?) and when any little thing goes awry, a.k.a. my chest = receptacle for gigantic spit up, then i feel like i'm headed over the edge. argh! at least i'm able to laugh about it, even giggling right now, although is that a sign i'm going crazy? sigh.

still, tried to get a cutie pie picture of the girls. ladybug's cheeks look enormous in this photo, and her roly poly thighs are embarking on their path to thunderland, but she's still a tiny baby...10 weeks today, oh my! the squirrel asked if 'her' baby could sleep in her bed with her at night. awww...

hey there lady...

2010-04-23T14:11:00.004-07:00

someone laughed for the very first time on april 22, 2010!! (i didn't catch it on camera, but we did have a little earth day photo shoot on the quilt, lol.) love my little ladybug!

health update: pt was great--re-embarking on some exercises to strengthen the area around my pelvis. i'm also trying out a new belt--the stairs in my townhouse are killing me, i think because the ladybug is getting bigger and heavier. the belt helps a lot, but it does nothing for my muffin-top, arrgh! (embrace the muffin, embrace the muffin, lol). sigh. once i'm more recovered i can work on that... !!

carnival day

2010-04-19T08:39:00.003-07:00

omg! what a week end, i'm exhausted! we braved the iolani fair on saturday afternoon and had so.much.fun. the squirrel and her little friend e. were in heaven--on all the rides and playing games, running around, eating fun carnival snacks, like shaved ice (pictured), oh my! miss olive and baby brother kiki were champs and very patient with their big sibs, they never fussed and cruised around happily in their strollers. On the way home, the squirrel said, "i want to go back to the fair!" me, too, little one, me, too. happy sigh. so...tired...now...lol.

health update: going to p.t. tomorrow to deal with the pelvis action--to the same fabulous pt who saved my life before. (am totally paying for the big family outing, but it was sooooo worth it!) still, this is nothing like how it was with miss squirrel, just trying to aid in the healing process so that i can return to work in good shape.

let the roly poly begin!

2010-04-14T10:00:00.001-07:00

someone is getting chubbier!

weather forecast: partly sunny, with a chance of rainfall on mauka (windward) areas. p.s. thank you so much for the kind words on the blog and via email...every day feeling a little better. and very *thankful* for my loved ones. love.hugs.

health update: i was notified by the OB yesterday that i've been fighting a UTI for the last three weeks, wtf?! at least we now know what's going on. antibiotics are my friend. a little sore on the pelvis area from hauling a chubbier baby around, but over all doing pretty good.

mommy blues

2010-04-12T16:04:00.004-07:00

you know, most of the time i'm writing happily about my little family and i do sound very cheerful. in fact, cheerfulness is part of my personality and for the most part, you will see sunshine when you look at my face. but for all that sunshine, storm clouds manage to find their way into my world. and i know that's normal. after all, i'd be robot mom if i was happy and chipper all the time.

so this post is about how i get the blues sometimes. i don't know if it's hormonal or what, but yesterday i had a crappy mommy day. it wasn't that my kids weren't acting like their usual selves--although olive was awake and a little fretful all day, you could probably blame her fretful, grumpy mother--the squirrel was cheerful and had a great day at grandma's house. i just had one of those days where i looked in the mirror and saw someone overwhelmed with flaws--clumsy, dorky, a little bit stupid. flooded with--how the heck am i going to raise two girls in this day and age, to show them how to be confident and nurture them to be smart and believe in themselves, to not give in to other people's expectations and forge their own path, to be happy with themselves, to learn how to make positive choices based out of respect, to love others and love themselves--when i feel like such a crappy person? and when i'm super sleep deprived, i swear i want to head-butt the wall and knock myself out. (oh great, real role model there.)

so i guess i'm just writing this to say: sometimes i feel like i totally suck. and i know no one else can pull me out of it, that i somehow have to pull myself out of it, but the storm cloud is there and it just won't move. ugh.

:(
p.s. i do feel a little better today--like the weather, this mood is passing on.

my first sock

2010-04-06T20:59:00.002-07:00

i can't believe it! i finally knitted a sock! it's a little big...because it's sized for my mom. hurray! i feel like i passed a knitting milestone. now...onto sock #2.

who is having more fun...

2010-04-05T19:37:00.005-07:00

the squirrel? or b.d.? :)

and...we had to do the easter egg hunt inside grandma's house...it was raining, but clearly, the squirrel was undeterred. b.d. had to hide the eggs three times, then the squirrel decided it was uncle steven's turn, so she hid the eggs for him for a couple of rounds, then 'helped' him find them, by pointing them out to him!

and i normally don't post pics of myself, but this one was kind of sweet--mommy and her two girls. wow, i have two girls. !@$! how did i get so lucky?! (must repeat this to self at 3:00am every night, lol!) happy easter! :)

babies, babies!

2010-03-29T20:39:00.005-07:00

i've been slacking a little on the blog...still in the land of the sleep deprived, but we're doing great, all things considered. over this past week we've been meeting some babies! little olive is the tiniest of the three, so it was hilarious to see her next to her healthy (and giant!) cousins! the first pictured is a sweet little girl who is five months old and who now lives all the way in Boston; her big brother was born here and was just past one when they moved. we were so lucky that the girls could 'meet,' and we can't wait until the whole family comes back and we can all go to the beach together! hugs!!

the second baby boy is 12 weeks and is z.'s baby brother! so they have two boys and we have two girls. :) hee hee hee, so cute! he is all smiles and is the cutest chunky chunk ever! we also had a bonus visit with e. and family over the week end, but my camera was dead, boo! it has been so great having all this bonus baby time, though!

and finally, the last pic is just silly mommy having some mommy time in the morning. this sweet face belies the crazy afternoon i just had--but she is now peacefully sleeping in her bouncer...!@#!

health update: symphasis pubis seems to be much better than with the squirrel (yay!). i'm still sore if i overdo it, but usually a motrin 800 mg does the trick.

smile!

2010-03-22T20:38:00.003-07:00

little olive has been smiling lately...though it's quite difficult to catch on camera.

came down with a cold over the week end, so not much energy for posting, boo! in fact, it seems like everyone in the family is sick, except for the smallest one...

horsey, friends, and a beautiful quilt!

2010-03-14T23:29:00.005-07:00

so this is what i missed out on at the fair yesterday--oh i was suddenly reminded of my horse-back riding girl scout days. i can't believe how fast the squirrel is growing!

and some craft-e fun with E.

but the biggest news of the week end was this gorgeous quilt that we received in the mail from grandma maggie--oh amazing! how lovely! and little olive loves it--she stares and stares at the colors and shapes. and the squirrel also loves looking at it, too. thank you so much!

there just doesn't seem to be enough minutes in the day to squeeze everything in. i'm a walking, sleep-deprived zombie/mommy--and olive has made it to four weeks, today, hurray! but what happened to the time? it;s passing in a blur...i've been dreaming and wishing of sleep, while feeding, burping, hanging out with diapers, spit up and baby doo, loving up my squirrel when i can...a quick hug to b.d. when i see him...it all feels like a walking dream. i try to stay in the moment but then before i know it, it's in the middle of the night...oh wait, i signed up for this, right?! lol.

health update: my infection is better, but i'm still gimping around the house. the symphasis is painful still yet, but i go back to the OB on tuesday.

farewell and other notes

2010-03-13T18:28:00.004-08:00

the squirrel caught a tummy bug this week, but seems to be recovered and is at this moment at her school fair with b.d., grandma jan, aunty, and aunty a., e. and gang! i'm sad i'm not there leading the ponies like i did last year (cry! see previous post )
although, it is a crazy, madhouse of fun, and i couldn't imagine taking newborn olive in all of that, especially in my gimpy state! lol. i just woke up from a much needed nap--little miss olive had me up at the graveyard time, 3am, and then up for good since 5am this morning!

a pic from our last night with grandma gale: we miss you!

big sister love

2010-03-07T18:22:00.005-08:00

the squirrel has really taken to her 'big sister' role, and she often asks to hold little olive. which reminds me, i've been calling her 'olive,' but she makes the same sweet squirrel noises that the squirrel made when she was an infant, so i'm trying to come up with some sort of nickname for her, too. some suggestions from b.d. and grandma gale include: guinea pig, chicken little, and muskrat. any suggestions? i'm still thinking.

and speaking of grandma gale, she gets on the big plane tomorrow! omg! we've been trying to gear up for her departure with the squirrel, but i'm afraid there will be a sad little squirrel come monday night when she comes home from pre-school to a house without grandma gale in it. :( i'm trying to come to terms with her departure, myself. :( i guess i just need to focus on and cherish the moments that we've had together since she arrived. i can't believe how fast the time has flown by...

some more pics of our little family; i included another one of b.d. i realize he looks like he's sleeping all the time, lol, but that's because i'm able to snap a cute picture when they're motionless! ha ha ha.

p.s. on the health note: we figured out the fever was a result of mastitis, a fun infection for which i'm taking antibiotics. good lord i'm on so much drugs that i can barely keep them straight. the pubis symphasis and tailbone are still painful, we're thinking we aggravated the original injury, so am keeping an eye on it and hope it heals up soon.

grandma love

2010-02-28T20:53:00.002-08:00

I really can't say more than this--that little olive is so lucky to be born into the arms of grandma love...and while sweet olive might be too teeny tiny to remember these moments, little squirrel has been living it up with all the grandma love in the house.

birth story #2

2010-02-27T16:43:00.011-08:00

now that it's been almost two weeks, i guess i can post a little about what happened around the birth of our little olive. i do still crack myself up a bit; determined to be at work on the 16th & 17th, i thought that the labor pains i was experiencing in the wee hours of valentine's day were false labor pains and kept telling myself to go back to sleep. by the time i figured it out and we got ourselves to the hospital (7:30am), i was already halfway there...five cm dilated! lol. but still..our little olive took her sweet time on valentine's day to arrive--finally showing up at 5:39pm. those stories about #2 just 'flying out' did not exactly apply to us, but the delivery experience was light years better than the crazy business that surrounded the birth of the squirrel!

about six hours after delivery, and well after we transferred to our recovery room, i lost what one friend has referred to as a "$hi+ ton of blood." so much so that we were on the brink of transfusion, but we ended up squeaking by without needing one. (i joke that it is the strong kimchi korean genes in me) needless to say, there was an additional procedure about 12 hours after delivery that was quite painful (they gave me morphine; and believe me, i've had morphine before when i had extensive knee surgery and this time it just did NOT seem to help) but i'm on the mend. i just had my blood work done this past week and am still low on red blood cells but am definitely improving. i've also been fighting a low grade fever this past week as well, so am trying to take it easy. the most important aspect to all of this is that sweet olive is just fine and has been the most peaceful newborn ever (knock on wood!).

tomorrow makes week #2 and we've already had other such excitement--survived our first tsunami together as a fam! i guess the term "survival" is a bit dramatic for what actually transpired, but it was a little scary to be on the alert all morning with a newborn in the house, me all messed up and fevered, etc., but luckily the tsunami itself was very mild. so i am very thankful about that!

i'm still not up for driving just yet (i get lightheaded and dizzy due to the blood loss), plus, my lovely pelvis and tailbone are still sore--aggravated by this l&d because of the original injury from the last go around, which incidentally was the impetus for me to start blogging way back in the day--so i can't lift more than the weight of the baby (i.e. no carseat), making me in total homebound mode. but comparing this to last time, this is hardly a blip on the radar, and i'm loving being home with my sweet girls.

speaking of which--big sister squirrel is loving the extra attention she's getting as 'big sister,' i.e. "can i hold the baby, mommy?" and "sssh! you'll wake up my baby," and "can i tickle her toes?" as well as the bonus grandma gale time!

b.d. has been a champion through all of this--i always say it's harder on the daddies, even though we women go through the craziness of l&d, but they have to watch and feel powerless. he was not happy to see his wife collapse 4 times in the bathroom and then witness the crazy 'removal' procedure, and has decided our next addition to the family will be a labrador retriever, if at all. he's been taking great care of all of us!

swoon

2010-02-21T11:11:00.002-08:00

my heart feels very full these days.

baby sister

2010-02-18T15:40:00.002-08:00

was born at 5:39pm, february 14, 2010. 7 lbs, 9.1 oz, 21 inches long. love!!!! (p.s. i know, i know, she's already started on books! lol)

are you ready for belly??

2010-02-06T23:06:00.003-08:00

oh dear, well, i guess i'm just going for it. took my mom out for her b-day last night at the sheraton moana surfrider, and braved a photo of z'belly. good lord! i guess i shouldn't get so salty when i get the 'looks' of amazement/horror or when random people make comments on the street, i can totally see how they just.can't.help.saying.s#I+. i totally inspire fear. LOL!!! and to say that we have been total slackers in getting ready for baby #2 is an understatement, but due to the generosity of my great aunty, we went out and bought an awesome crib for her today. love it! it's totally perfect and just what we wanted--sturdy, well-made, high quality, even a bit elegant, and *on sale* at baby emporium. it even has a drawer on the bottom for baby things! we don't actually need to build it for a few months (borrowed an 'arms reach' for the first couple of months), but it is SO nice to know that it's taken care of. oh, which reminds me, i better go pack my bag...that was one of my goals this week end. pack the bag, and finish our taxes! (like i need to be dealing with taxes during sleep deprivation land)! we also toured the hospital where we're giving birth--which also builds up excitement about the big day. big daddy was a bit overwhelmed by everything--he has collapsed and is in slumberland. i actually should go do the same thing, as little ms. squirrel will be wide awake in the early hours...she has been such a sweetie, i look forward to opening my eyes and seeing her little face: mommy, is it wake up time?

happy birthday grandma gale!

2010-02-03T21:11:00.003-08:00

we celebrated grandma gale's birthday, tonight--and grandma is modeling her brand new genuine muumuu, from princess kaiulani fashions. we had a delicious korean dinner, and afterwards, squirrel sang happy birthday at the top of her lungs, and "helped" grandma blow out her candle, a.k.a. blew it out for her, lol. this friday, as long as baby #2 cooperates, we're going to have a mother/daughter evening of pupus and nonalcoholic drinks at the moana surfrider, so mom can take in the sights of the beach. then, on saturday, b.d. is going to cook some fresh fish for mom...so we're making this a birthday week! :)

no baby as of yet, but i threw in a picture of the giant belly. i can't believe i'm so huge! lol. all signs are still pointing to the 19th, and i'm happy for it. we need to re-arrange the bedroom to make room for the changing table and our temporary crib (glorified play-pen/bassinet type of thing). eventually, we'll be getting a new crib.

i have to take it easy--i have that 'round ligament' issue lately, and i don't want to fall down again if it acts up and gets me off balance. i'm already a walking klutz. my coworkers were so sweet today and surprised me with a baby shower at our program heads meeting! and one of them is totally amazed that i'm working to the 'bitter end,' (but i don't want to waste any leave time)! lol. they were so sweet. and the 'game' was to guess date and time of baby's arrival. so cute! i'm hoping for the 20th. crossing fingers.

37 weeks+!

2010-01-31T19:51:00.001-08:00

i've been a bit of a blog slacker and thought i'd better post--no baby as of yet! at my weekly check up the other day, all signs were pointing to a normal delivery on due date, we can only hope. that is my aim--and of course if it were entirely up to me (and by virtue of a pure act of will), that is what would happen, maybe even on the 20th, a saturday! ha ha ha. but, as we all know, there are many unforeseen factors that go into giving birth, so we can only wait and see. i have been trying to take it easy as we slide into the home stretch, and big daddy and grandma gale and even the squirrel are all pitching in. today, i had to run an errand to the grocery store and the squirrel said, "I'm your helper, right mommy?" as she put a can of soup in our wagon. awk! heart.melting. little phrases and gestures, so sweet...

we also had visitors this week end--a brand new baby boy! z. and the squirrel are about a month apart and it looks like our number twos will also be about a month, maybe 2 months apart? so both grandma gale and i had practice on holding a brand new infant...love him! so sweet! i just can't believe how fast the time is going...not just here but with all our babies in hawaii and across the sea on the mainland. some are brand new, some are full on KIDS, wow! what happened? where did it all go? it seems like i just looked over my shoulder and we were stumbling through our teens and twenties and now...we're all wearing our big pants and being adults. it makes me giggle and laugh and blink in awe all at the same time. heart.

squirrel with beach attire

2010-01-22T11:21:00.001-08:00

we went to the beach the week end before grandma gale arrived, and i forgot my camera! luckily, my friends had hers, and she posted on FB...but couldn't resist posting her pic here. i remember the arm-wings, myself! lol.

fun with grandma gale

2010-01-18T19:52:00.001-08:00

well, two peas in a pod. and here i was all worried that the squirrel, who asked about grandma gale every day for a week, would be all reserved when she actually arrived (i.e. santa claus, see prior post, lol) no way! so happy to see them together.

unfortunately, both b.d. and i are sick. i managed to sleep 12 hours last night and am about to go to bed early...i can't believe i've made it all the way through this pregnancy only to arrive at week 35 with a fever and chills. hopefully it will pass soon. and whoa. week 35? yikes!! i am a bowling ball of a belly, and it's hard to get around, but i'm managing. good night, sleep tight, it's time to go to bed!

countdown to grandma gale!

2010-01-11T22:24:00.004-08:00

should be here in t minus 19 hours...squirrel is very excited. in the mean time, we had some fun with play dough and trains at e's house on sunday morning, woo woo! we had such a great time.

(countdown to grandma gale isn't the only countdown around the townhouse these days--baby sister is due in six weeks, whoa!! the belly is OUT OF CONTROL, althouh i only gained 1/2 pound over the holidays, a miracle, lol!)

happy new year!

2010-01-02T21:31:00.001-08:00

with just a day or two into 2010 we have accomplished quite a lot: blown up 10,000 fireworks to bless our new home (at approximately 12:01am), reached out to our family and friends near and far, made a batch of blueberry/vanilla pancakes for the fam, and a pan of butter mochi for the extended fam. the squirrel also accomplished the amazing feat of stuffing a plastic bead up her nose, much to our dismay, and then after some distress, blow it back out, phew! survival.

today, all three of us swam in the ocean, where i once again scared people at the beach with my gigantic belly. still no obama sighting, but i think they are staying somewhere closer to the marine base. we are so blessed to live in this beautiful place. the squirrel tried out her new floaty ring and arm wings, she's becoming braver each time we get to the water.

we are looking forward to 2010--really settling into our new home and waiting for the arrival of baby sister, little FF #2, wow, it's kind of amazing how change takes hold, wraps us up, and then brings us closer together as each adventure unfolds. i can't wait to see what will happen, and at the same time, i want to embrace every second as it passes by, like when the squirrel snuggled up to me this afternoon on the couch to sing Puff the Magic Dragon. She particularly likes the phrase "autumn mist--I think i might always remember the sound of her singing "autumn mist" long after she's grown.

day after christmas cheer

2009-12-27T19:21:00.003-08:00

some beach fun the day after christmas...such a beautiful day!! i made b.d. take us to kailua beach park, which is a fabulous (but sometimes crowded) beach, not only because of gentle waves and popular scenery, but because of the availability of facilities for giant pregnant lady and toddler, lol. no obama sighting though...i think their vacation rental is up the way at lanikai! :)

our first christmas in our new house was sooooo amazing and great. i think it all finally caught up with me today, when i slept nearly half the day--so tired! lol. squirrel loved having the family over at her house all day, and played and played and played--she was all about opening presents this year. i have to say, the number one pick was hungry hungry hippos--she played with that ALL day long, with just about everyone, and even by herself for about an hour, lol! of course the best part ever was just enjoying our family and the love sent out to our friends far and near. happy sigh. i am a total holiday cheese ball! i'm still listening to christmas carols as i cook dinner tonight!

santa: the big red & white guy

2009-12-20T22:49:00.005-08:00

(she really did ask to go see him, lol!) :) love my squirrel.

been humming christmas carols all week end...pretty geeked out about our first christmas in kaneohe! unfortunately, we have misplaced the charger for our camera in the move. hopefully it will turn up soon...but i *so* wish that we had the camera when we took the squirrel to see santa at windward mall on saturday! i'm giggling as i write this. last year, she was so NOT into santa, wouldn't even wave at him when we happened to walk by santa by accident when were shopping.

this year, santa has been on her brain, probably talking about him at preschool, plus the neighbor's have a hilarious inflatable santa popping out of a chimney with the help of a reindeer. squirrel is taken with reindeer and the sleigh and talks about the north pole, and she actually asked us to take her to see santa every day last week. so...we thought we'd give it a try. off to windward mall saturday morning (grandma jan met us there), and in line at 10am, the nice thing about windward mall is that it's so not crowded at that time of day, even though it's the last saturday before christmas! we spy santa coming down the escalator--and squirrel is kind of happy, waving and everything (at this point, we're thinking the odds--70/30--30 that she might actually go up to him).

the first two babies are up and in his lap. the second little boy is so cute, big grin, smiling, sitting so happily, peering at the camera, at his mommy, at santa. the kid behind us is practicing how she's going to "smile," a bit toothy grin! squirrel is not so sure. our turn, we go up, and nope. she says she'll sit by me, so i sit next to santa, who has a vice like grip on my shoulder, but he's quite friendly. squirrel starts whispering across my chest to santa what she wants for christmas (and try as i might, the disney princesses have infiltrated her consciousness): a cinderella computer, a snow white computer, and a sleeping beauty computer. (me: what tha?) and i translate her quiet request. in the mean time, b.d. is up by the camera, trying to get her to smile: say cheese! um...nope. it was so hilarious. she did great on her own terms, and i'm all for taking time with santa, etc. the picture we finally got was the epitome of the now 'toddler mug shot.' (many of our loved ones are quite familiar with the 'baby mug shot' that ms. squirrel was famous for when she was an infant.) i think the santa people were like: you want to pay money for THAT? are you on CRACK? i have to find a scanner...it was so squirrel, couldn't help but laugh and love it. of course all afternoon she was asking, where's santa? is he talking? is he still there? so she obviously had some fun out of the whole thing...

so happy thinking about my loved ones near and far...happy holidays to all!!! :)

holidays are upon us!

2009-12-13T20:35:00.001-08:00

whew, i am pooped! a whirlwind week end of reconnecting with squirrel's friends--we met z. and parents on friday night at Kikuya's (YUM--best little restaurant in Kaneohe)--they moved to kaneohe a few months before us. and then squirrel's friend e. and family stopped over for a visit on saturday. baby brother k. is the cutest baby EVER. here's some fun pics, which show our move-in progress, too! the walls are still pretty blank, but we are so happy that the house is at least in order enough to have some holiday fun! and we got our little christmas tree...the squirrel had a fab time decorating it saturday morning! today, aunty leah and uncle rich stopped by for a quick visit, the squirrel was in heaven showing them around, especially her room upstairs, lol. and tonight i made a big batch of drake's fried chicken (thank you maggie for sending it to me!!!) and fed the entire family, including uncle greg, grandma jan, and uncle stephen. it's so nice to have a house full of people--such fun. oh, but i am sleepy now, and need to go to bed, lol! we are super excited about our first christmas in kaneohe. !!

settling in

2009-12-06T22:03:00.000-08:00

a pic from our new neighborhood park...not sure how often we'll come here, but it's been good the last two week ends for some twirly slide action. poor squirrel keeps asking if she will see her friend "e." at the park? so sad! luckily the whole e. family will be coming for a visit next week.

the house is slowly coming together and i am getting bigger and bigger. i hate to say it, but i've actually lost count of the 'weeks.' i'm too busy to sit down with the calendar and start counting from where i left off. all i know is that i have three more months of waddling, and i'm okay with that. i've had several conversations with baby-sister-to-be to please stay in there until feb. 19th! she seems to be okay with that. the squirrel was three days late, so at least there's some precedence, lol.

whew, sleepy, sleepy. time to go to bed soon--a new work week awaits!

impromptu beach break...

2009-11-27T19:33:00.002-08:00

the f-cubed family took a break from the unpacking, shifting, moving, and headed for the beach! it was a blustery day, but still filled with sun, surf, and laughter. we are still living in semi-disaster land, but i promise to post pics when we're settled in, lol.

soooo thankful for our new house...i think b.d. and i are both in a bit of a dream--that this is really happening and this is really our lives! and now it just hit me, christmas is just around the corner! can't wait to have everything cleaned up and our first christmas tree in our new home...oh wow!

tomorrow back to reality--cleaning up the old palolo house (ok, i totally hired cleaners, there's no way my gigantic belly is squatting down to clean the cupboards), picking up supplies, other errands to run. however it is also uncle's birthday, so we are going to bbq at grandma jan's house, and that will be so fun!

patio view...

2009-11-25T21:14:00.009-08:00

woo hoo, internet access! here's some pics pre-move in (before my dear friend moved out)...we're still a bit of a disaster area in the living room, but all of our stuff is now in!! :) love my new kitchen and patio--actually love it all, lol! didn't get a good view in the pic, but we can see the koolau's above the patio gate and from our living room. *happy sigh* :) ooh, and a bonus pic of the squirrel in front of grandma's house, lol.

the move :)

2009-11-24T15:45:00.003-08:00

we are officially in our new home and i love it! moving was crazy, but we survived (barely!). at the end of each day i could barely walk, but i was so so so happy to be moving. the big move in day was on saturday, with a u-haul and three pick up trucks--and somehow we still weren't able to get it all in one trip, the poor guys worked so hard! once the majority of the stuff was over, i was determined to unpack my kitchen. the boys were trying to get the 6 month pregnant lady to quit unpacking, but i just couldn't stop! at least i had one room done by the end of the day!!!

but poor b.d., the squirrel's bed was stuck in palolo for the first night--with all the rails to prevent her from falling out of bed, they couldn't get it out of her room, so he and his brother went back on sunday to disassemble and bring it back to kaneohe to reassemble in her room.

the squirrel has adapted great so far: she *loves* the stairs and is up and down them all the time. sometimes she climbs them normally. sometimes she uses her hands to go up--i'll race you, mommy!. sometimes she goes down them on her butt: feet first, sit down, feet first, sit down. she's been going to bed on time and waking up great, even though half her room is unpacked! lol. what a trooper, so patient with mommy and daddy. when i'm doing dishes or after dinner, she sings the "ABCD song" and manages to play amidst the disaster area of our living room--boxes, boxes, boxes, lol.

i can't wait to go home at the end of each day. we are making slow progress and i don't have internet at home yet, so will try and update with pictures soon. oh, where is that darn camera??!! we feel so blessed and thankful that we are in our new home!!!